


It's Jay

by AmmoLovesJyron



Series: One Chicago [1]
Category: Chicago Med, Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Hurt Jay Halstead, Jay Halstead Whump, Jay gets shot, Protective Will Halstead, Sickfic, emeto, halstead brothers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 07:45:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18245459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmmoLovesJyron/pseuds/AmmoLovesJyron
Summary: When Jay's shot during a stake out, Will is shocked to hear about this just as he comes in for his morning shift. This story follows Jay after surgery, Will freaking out before, during and after the surgery, and of course some cute Halstead brotherly bonding.I can't write descriptions I'm sorry please just give me a try!





	It's Jay

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AnxiousCoffee (TheHallowedAngel)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHallowedAngel/gifts).



> Hi everyone, welcome to my first Chicago Med/Chicago PD fic! I'm still relatively new to the One Chicago series but I'm doing my best to catch up with what's happening! I'm not a doctor, nor will I pretend to be one, so I apologise for any inaccuracies in this fic. I'll be honest, medicine and injuries are not my strongest point. Whoops.  
> This fic came to be what it is bc I'm currently sick with a cold and I was bored with everything else I was writing so I was like heh... sorry Jay. Sorry Will. Sorry Chicago PD/Med.  
> Gifted to this person bc they encouraged me a lot whilst writing this and I'm super grateful for it! I hope you enjoy reading this 5k nonsense.  
> This fic is also available on my Tumblr!

**Halsteads. Lemme tell you, they’re dramatic shits. Especially when Jay’s shot again and Will’s flipping shit.**

 

Manning and Halstead entered together, waving to Maggie and Sarah who were comparing paperwork at the front desk. Maggie’s mouth opened and closed as she stared at Will. Will raised an eyebrow, trading an amused look with his partner.

“Maggie? Is everything-“

“-it’s Jay.”

The smile from Will’s face fell.

 

Rhodes was standing at Jay’s door, wiping off his hands when he saw Will and Natalie. His mood was sombre, and he sent a sympathetic smile toward them.

“Hey, guys.”

“How is he?” Will demanded. Rhodes just sighed, and gestured for the pair to sit. They did, Natalie grasping Will’s hand.

“Jay’s still asleep, he spent a good part of surgery going in and out. You know what I mean. He lost a lot of blood, but… Halstead, he’s one hell of a fighter.”

Will’s head shot up and his eyes widened.

“You mean… he might not die?”

“Will,” Natalie chastened, but Rhodes held up his hand.

“He has a point. Jay did drop out a couple times but we got him back. April was there the whole time and I had Maggie breathing down my neck. If you don’t trust me, trust them.”

“No, no man I… thank you. Seriously, I really appreciate it.”

Natalie and Connor both seemed shocked, before Will shook his head.

“You two can talk if you want, I’m gonna go check on Jay.”

“Just be careful, Will… his body is still under a lot of stress.”

“Of course. Thanks, Rhodes.”

 

Jay was sleeping soundly on his side when Will opened the door. He hesitated, before crossing the threshold. Jay made some kind of noise and settled on to his back, still deep in his sedated-sleep. It was then Will saw the bruising he’d suffered, excluding the main injury- the bullet in his chest that Rhodes had pulled out. Half of his chest and shoulder were wrapped in blinding white bandaging, and Will realised just how serious it was. He took a seat beside the bed, realising he was now Will Halstead, brother of victim instead of Dr Halstead, _attending emergency doctor_. He wasn’t sure he liked being on the other end of things.

Especially when it was _Jay_ in the hospital bed. Jay _, his brother_ , of all people. Will could count on one hand the number of people he could trust, and the first name would always be Jay’s. Jay was his best friend and he could rely on him whenever things got tough. He was also the first person he told when things went right- a habit picked up from their childhood.

And now Jay was lying in a hospital bed after a surgery that could have gone badly; a surgery where he’d lost a lot of blood. It made Will sick to think of what could have happened in the OR if someone less competent than Rhodes had done it.

Now, though, he could just relish in the fact that _yes_ , Jay was going to be okay. He was going to get better, and probably be demanding to go back to work as soon as possible.

The door opened again, and Sarah Reese entered the room. Her eyes were soft, and Will sighed.

“I’m fine, Reese. Honestly.”

“I never doubted that, Will.”

Her tone was cautious, and Will appreciated that she called him by his first name instead of _Dr Halstead_. It helped change his mindset a little.

“Y’know, Jay has been one important asset to a couple recent cases. When we have a trouble up in psych he’s almost always the first port of call. He’s important to me too, Will.”

He sighed, gesturing to the seat beside him.

“You can stay if you want. I don’t mind.”

“Are you sure?”

“Mm.”

So Sarah sat beside him, brushing a hand over her braid that had stayed intact all morning.

“So… what happened?” She asked. Will shrugged, reaching forward to cover Jay’s waist with the heavy blanket.

“From what the Paramedics told Maggie, I guess he was on stake out when someone ambushed him from the side. They shot him pretty much straight off the bat.”

“Wow. That’s intense.”

Will hummed, but he didn’t seem entirely with it as he focused on Jay.

“He’s been shot before, right?” Sarah questioned.

“Yeah. He was part of the US Army.”

“I feel like I should be thanking him for his service.”

“It was a long time ago.”

There was silence between the two, and Sarah felt her pager buzz. With a quick glance at it, she stood quickly.

“Sorry, excuse me.”

“Yeah, yeah that’s fine.”

As she strode toward the glass door, Will called to her.

“Hey, Sarah?”

“Yes?”

She faced him, and Will sent her a smile.

“Thanks.”

 

Natalie came in to see Will had fallen asleep beside Jay’s bed, head resting on the bed. One hand was on top of Jay’s, and she sighed when she realised that Will had been crying. She approached him, giving his shoulder a light shake.

“Will?”

His eyes opened, widening for a moment in panic before he realised it was her.

“Hey, Nat.”

“Hi. Sit up, c’mon.”

He did as told and Natalie sat in the seat beside him, brushing a hand down his neck.

“How is he?”

“Well… I think he’s probably gonna wake up soon. His chest was pretty ripped up from what Rhodes told me, but he’s okay. He’s gonna be okay.”

“Yeah. And what about you?”

“Me?”

Will looked at her and she hummed, meeting his eyes.

“C’mon, Will. I know you, you’re worried aren’t you?”

“Of course I’m worried; my brother was shot, Nat. He’s currently knocked out for god knows how long, and I’m fucking terrified at how he’s going to be when he wakes up.”

“Will-“

“-Nat, you know the worst part?”

“What’s that? Tell me.”

“The worst part is that he just seems to keep getting into situations like this, he keeps putting himself in danger so others are safe. I don’t know how I feel about that, but it’s his job right? It’s his job.”

Natalie was silent for a moment, the only sound in the room being the heart monitor beeping steadily, while she carefully considered what she was going to say next.

“You’re right, it is his job. It was his choice, and he made that choice a long time ago.”

“I don’t think I could forgive myself if I lost him so soon after losing dad. Jay’s my last family member, and I can’t let him die.”

“Will, Jay’s not going to die.”

“Not _yet_ , at least.”

Jay’s voice interrupted Natalie’s comforting tone, and Will couldn’t help the cheesy grin that spread across his face when he realised Jay was awake. He shot up from his chair, wrapping his arms carefully around Jay. Jay accepted the hug, burying his head into Will’s neck.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” Will whispered, and Jay nodded against him.

“Thanks man.”

When they pulled away Natalie got up to hug Jay too, pressing a kiss to his cheek. Jay felt comforted by her presence- as a mother, she held a maternal warmth Jay hadn’t felt in a long time. As Will’s fiancé, she was his sister and he was glad she was there.

“How are you feeling?” She asked as she sat back down, Will sitting on the side of the bed. Jay went to shrug when he winced, holding the shoulder that had been injured.

“Uh- uh, yeah, I’m okay I guess. I’m tired, though. Really tired.”

“Do you remember what happened?” Will asked. Natalie put a hand on his arm, shaking her head.

“Will, I don’t-“

“-it’s okay, Natalie. I don’t remember a lot of it, but it usually comes back after a day or so.”

Jay seemed quite out of it still, and Will brushed a hand through his own hair.

“You should get some sleep. When you’re ready I’ll have Connor come in and talk to you.”

Jay nodded and settled down, closing his eyes. Natalie stood, kissing Will.

“I’m going to go and do my rounds but if you need anything call me, okay?”

Will hummed, eyes still watching his brother.

“Thanks, Nat. Tell Maggie I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I can’t work today. It’s not safe.”

“She knows. Don’t worry about that, Will. Just be there for Jay.”

 

Will watched over Jay until he was sure he was asleep before moving to the couch in the room, unlocking his phone and going to some sort of word puzzle game he and Nat had been battling on. He was certain he was beating her score, but she had a way of beating him when he least expected it. To his surprise he was actually in the lead for once, so he started the next level to keep himself entertained.

 

Jay began to shift around, groaning and whining in his sleep. His forehead broke out in a cold sweat, his entire body shaking as he cried out.

“N-no, no… let her… let-let her go!”

Will looked up from his phone, leaving it on the couch in favour of going to check on Jay. The younger Halstead had turned his head to the side, burying his head in the pillow as he broke into sobs.

“M-make it- make-make it- make it stop! Will, make- please…”

That did it for Will, as he took Jay by his good shoulder and held on to him, rubbing his neck carefully.

“C’mon man, wake up. It’s just a dream, wake up,” he murmured, still holding the back of Jay’s neck as support. Jay tossed and turned, so hard and fast that Will was scared he’d torn the stitches, before he began sobbing again. His eyes slowly opened; blue meeting hazel. Will sighed, sitting on the bed beside his brother. When he lay back Jay choked back another sob, biting his lip. Will lifted his arm and before Jay knew it he was being held by his big brother, Will squeezing him tightly but not enough to hurt him further.

“Just breathe, man, you’re okay. I’m here.”

Jay let it all out, sobbing until he was hoarse into Will’s hoodie Natalie had dropped off for him earlier. His hands grasped the familiar fabric, trying not to snot everywhere. Will didn’t even seem to care about the snot, as he kept his hand on Jay’s back to rub in large circles. When Jay gagged Will sat him up, catching it just in time. That made Jay cry harder though- Will had never seen him like this.

When he was calmed down enough to function, Will stood and emptied the bowl containing Jay’s breakfast into the ensuite toilet, flushing and sanitising everything. When he returned, Jay had rolled on to his side, eyes closed.

He was done for now.

So Will sat back down on the couch, shooting a text to Natalie telling her what had just happened. When she replied asking if he needed something to calm Jay down, Will told her that Jay had gone back to sleep. He also asked her to bring his emergency overnight bag up when she had a second.

 

The day slipped by before Jay or Will could really comprehend- Natalie had been up to eat lunch with the Halstead boys, but she’d had to go back due to an emergency soon after. Sarah had popped in again and told Jay she was glad to see him awake. The only person that hadn’t been by yet was Connor Rhodes- the one guy Jay needed to talk to.

Just as the sun began to set, there was a knock on the door. Will looked up at the same time as Jay and there he was- the man, the myth, the legend. Connor Rhodes.

“Hey, guys. Sorry about that, apparently a lot of people needed help with their hearts today.”

 

Jay sat up, greeting Rhodes with a nod. Rhodes moved the seat beside Will to be at the end of Jay’s bed, pulling something out of his pocket. When he’d found it he pulled it out, revealing a container to the two Halsteads. He shook it lightly and Jay caught on before Will, eyes widening.

“That’s the bullet?”

“Yep- well, parts of it. We were extracting it and… Jay as a detective and an ex-Army Ranger, have you ever come across a bullet that explodes when touched by metal tweezers?”

Jay frowned, furrowing his brows for a moment before Will spoke up.

“Not important. Jay didn’t you have some questions?”

“Uh… uh, y-yeah but I just- can I have it?”

Connor hesitated for a moment, before he nodded and handed the container over to Jay. Jay stared at it, giving it a tentative shake. He frowned, examining something in a way that both Will and Connor recognised as a) a detective and b) an Army Ranger. When he tossed it back to Connor, he couldn’t help the concern in his blue eyes that had darkened to a grey.

“That’s a military-grade bullet. I’m lucky to be alive.”

“There wasn’t an exit wound so we tried to get it out with minimal damage but- well, I had a resident with me and-“

“-Rhodes, a minute?”

Will’s tone was sharp and Jay grabbed his arm, an eyebrow raised.

“Will-“

“-Rhodes, now.”

So Connor stood, following his colleague out. At the door, he turned back to Jay.

“I’ll be back in a minute to answer any questions you might have.”

 

Once the glass door was closed, Will grabbed Connor by the collar and shoved him to the wall, holding him up with a face almost as red as his hair.

“You let a resident operate on my brother? A _resident_? On _my_ brother? What the hell were you thinking?”

“The same thing Downey was when he let me operate on people; they have to learn somehow. I’ve been watching that resident in particular for a while and they’ve got talent; I did most of it, but-“

“-and here I was thinking _oh no, it’ll be fine, one of the best Trauma surgeons in all of Chicago just saved my brother’s life_ but nope, you let someone else do it who could have very well killed him.”

“Will, you need to calm down and listen to me. Jay is fine; he’s sitting up and talking and he reached for the bullet first. I wasn’t sure he was going to want to see it.”

“Well he clearly did, no thanks to you planting that in his head.”

“Will get a grip man! You’re freaking yourself out, Jay needs you!”

Connor pushed himself off the wall, managing to grab Will’s arms and pin them to his back. Will snarled, but Connor wasn’t letting go.

“I did everything I possibly could in there, everything I knew. If I wasn’t satisfied with what the resident was doing I would have kicked them out. Jay’s surgery was a tough one but he’s going to be okay. We didn’t do any further damage than what the bullet would have.”

The fire in Will’s eyes was slowly fading, until Connor felt his shoulders relax. He released his grip, and Will shook him off. He ran a hand through his hair, gesturing to the door.

“You should probably go answer Jay’s questions; I’m sure he has a million of them.”

 

“Will?”

“Hm?”

The room was silent- dark too except for Will’s iPad screen where he was reading. When Jay called out to him Will sat up, locking his iPad. He realised Jay was facing him, his eyes sad.

“You were an ass to Connor back there. He did his job, saved my life, and you ripped into him for letting a resident do surgery on me. I don’t know what he said to you, but he told me he was watching the whole time over the resident’s shoulder. I trust that guy, and so should you.”

Before Will could reply, Jay’s eyes closed and he was asleep again.

Will sighed- he hated it when Jay was right.

As Jay dozed Will lay back down, staring at the ceiling. He was used to sleeping with noise surrounding him- the hospital’s on-call room was in the middle of ED and Owen still cried in the night sometimes- so when he was met with complete silence, he felt awkward.

To try and combat his internal awkwardness, Will tried to count sheep in his head. He began to have flashbacks of the last few years- Jay’s deployment and when he returned home. When their mum passed away. When their dad was brought into Med from a fire in his apartment. Turning off the ventilator and leaving the room so Jay could say a proper goodbye. Hugging Jay while he cried at their father’s funeral, Erin Lindsay at Jay’s side ready to care for him. When Lindsay left without a word, Jay had been heartbroken.

And now here he was, lying in a hospital bed after being shot. Again.

It made Will feel sick to his stomach when he realised that there may come a time when he wouldn’t be able to comfort his little brother.

Because Jay wouldn’t be there to comfort.

 

All through the night Jay was restless in his sleep- Will tried to stay awake as long as he could in case there was another incident but the day’s events caught up to him and he fell asleep with his iPad on his chest. Jay tossed and turned constantly in his sleep, whimpering and whining and groaning. Just after Will fell asleep he woke up in a cold sweat, realising his heart rate had gone up. In an attempt not to wake Will, he reached for his phone.

 

_Jay: Nat? Are you still awake?_

_Nat: Just putting Owen down... again. Are you okay?_

_Jay: I think I’m having another panic attack._

_Jay: Or I did in my sleep and I woke up on the end of it_

_Nat: Oh Jay. I’m so sorry. I can drop Owen at Helen’s if you need me. Where’s Will?_

_Jay: Asleep. I don’t want to wake him up, he’s been through a lot today._

_Nat: So have you, Jay. You were shot, remember? You nearly died. It’s okay to be upset. It’s okay to ask for help._

_Jay: I don’t think I’m there just yet_

_Nat: Okay. I’ve texted_ Dr _Charles to come up to you first thing tomorrow morning. Don’t worry, he’s been wanting to talk to you anyway. It’s been a long time coming._

_Jay: I’ve met him what? Twice?_

_Nat: He hears a lot about you from Will and I. Just know we’re worried, but we won’t push this on to you. If you don’t want to talk to_ Dr _Charles you don’t have to._

_Jay: No, no I’ll think about it._

_Nat: Maybe you should talk to Will too. He’s just as scared as you are; it’s something you’re on common ground with at the moment._

_Jay: I don’t know_

_Nat: Okay. Then close your eyes, and_ try _get some more rest. The more sleeping you do the better it’s going to get. Promise._

_Jay: I’ll try._

 

Jay fell asleep shortly after that, phone on the bed beside him. He dozed, Will rolling over to watch his brother for a moment.

Satisfied he would stay asleep, Will let the exhaustion overtake him.

 

An alarm sounded, jolting Will out of sleep. When he looked up in panic at Jay, Jay’s heart rate was going through the roof and he clutched the bullet wound, groaning as he tried to mask the pain. Will stood, to help calm him down, but Jay held his hand out at a distance to stop him.

“Don’t coddle me, okay? I’m sorry I woke you up, but just- please don’t-“

“-I wasn’t going to _coddle_ you man. I was only going to help you get your heart rate down. Keep going like that and I’ll have to sedate you.”

“You wouldn’t.”

Jay’s eyes were wide and grey instead of their usual intense blue, pupils blown with fear. Will shook his head, gesturing to the heart monitor.

“Let me help, okay? I know you hate sedation so this is the only way for it to come down.”

“Please don’t sedate me, Will,” Jay murmured, close to tears. Will resisted the urge to scoop Jay into a hug to protect him, instead looking at the monitor.

“Okay, so first of all I think you’re having another panic attack. You need to put your hand on your stomach, and hold your breath for three seconds.”

“Don’t do it Will, don’t do it,” Jay repeated, Will staring in concern as he slowly got a little closer. Jay didn’t seem to react so Will sat on the bed like he had earlier, rubbing Jay’s good shoulder.

“I won’t Jay, I promise. I shouldn’t have said it, I’m sorry-“

“-Will?”

“I swear Jay, I won’t do it-“

“-Will m’gonna-“

Jay leaned away from his brother, gagging and dry heaving. Will watched him with wide eyes, trying to figure out how to fix this. He picked up a plastic bowl the nurse had left here earlier for some reason, handing it to Jay. Jay groaned, his entire face having gone white as a sheet. His stomach growled angrily, and Jay hovered over the end of the bed with his mouth hanging open as he tried to sort himself out. Will took hold of his arm, pulling him until he was leaning evenly on the pillows. With a gentle hand he felt Jay’s forehead for a fever which could be a sign of infection, but when he felt nothing he continued the big circles he’d been doing on his brother’s back. Jay groaned again, coughing. All of a sudden there was a yellow-tinted liquid in the bowl, and Will’s eyebrows raised in realisation.

“Oh, shit.”

While Jay continued to get sick, Will reached for his file nearby, reading over the medicine he’d been put on.

“Oh, dude… they’ve drugged you to the nines, you’re probably having a reaction since two of these don’t go well together.”

“W-what?”

“Look, so this one here… when mixed with this one, it makes you hurl until you can’t anymore.”

Jay tore his head away from the bowl to see what Will was saying before another wave of nausea rushed over him and he put himself back over the plastic, trying to breathe deeply like Will had been describing earlier.

Proud brother moment for Will right there.

Will pressed the button for a nurse and was surprised when one he recognised walked in. She smiled, but it fell into a concerned frown when she realised the state Jay was in.

“Here, Mr Halstead, let me…”

“Don’t take it off him if you value a clean uniform,” Will cautioned when she went to take the bowl away from Jay. She glanced between the two, the frown deepening as she pried it from Jay anyway.

“Why is that-“

Jay groaned, trying to bury his head into Will’s shoulder before he shuddered, and the yellow concoction he’d brought up earlier was projectile-vomited all over the nurse. She gasped in shock, and Will smiled apologetically.

“Sorry, I did try to warn you.”

She blushed, slipping a clean bowl on to Jay’s bedside table.

“I’ll empty this and then we uh- we should probably look at what’s making him sick.”

“It’s these two drugs.”

Will pointed them out and she furrowed her brows, reading where he was gesturing to.

“Who put him on that second one? I only asked for the first.”

“Well someone did, and now Jay’s paying for it.”

“I can tell. Look, let me get him a cloth to wipe up, and I’ll fix that drug situation. Sorry, Dr Halstead, if I’d known I would have-“

“-it’s okay. Don’t stress, as long as you can help Jay.”

“I’ll sort it out.”

 

When she returned (clean uniform and all) Jay had managed to stop throwing up long enough he felt safe without the bowl in his arms and had passed out, his head tucked into a tiny gap between Will’s shoulder and the pillows. If Will adjusted Jay would huff and shove his arm- so he wasn’t quite passed out yet, but he was close. While he slept the nurse and Will worked together to sort the drug situation out. The pair knew Jay only needed one type of analgesic but he had been receiving two up until that point- that was where his random (projectile) vomiting had come from.

Just as Will was starting to drop off there was a knock at the door.

“Dr Halstead, Jay?”

 

Voight and Dawson sat on the other side of Jay, talking to him about everything that had happened. It surprised Will that Jay could now recall most of it- including being shot with the bullet that tore him from the inside out. He described it as though it had happened only a second ago, occasionally letting a tear slip but he was strong- he could get through this. When Voight had his statement, he wrapped Jay in what Will would have called a paternal hug had it been anyone else- because it was Voight and Jay, Will knew Voight just cared and wanted to keep Jay safe. Dawson hugged Jay too, agreeing to come and visit during his bed rest period at home.

 

Nat appeared, holding up a bag of food and Will broke into a grin, extending his arms.

“Oh, thank god. I love our hospital but I don’t love our food.”

There were footsteps behind Natalie, and Will broke into a grin.

“Hey Owen! Come give me a high five, man.”

Jay hadn’t realised but Owen had been hiding behind Natalie’s leg, and when he saw Will he rushed over, climbing to sit on his knee. Will bounced him lightly, gesturing to Jay.

“Jay’s not well, he’s hurt little man.”

Owen frowned, looking between the three adults in the room before he spoke the words that made Jay want to cry happy tears, and Will- well he wanted to cry happy tears too.

“U-Unca… Unca Jay hurt?”

Will nodded, while Natalie came over to sit on Jay’s bed. She gave him a pat on the hand, sending him a sympathetic smile.

“Hey. You look exhausted.”

“I am, but in a good way. Voight just arrested the guy that shot me and murdered those other girls. The second he gave me photos of suspects I could tell immediately. I was lucky.”

“Definitely. How’s the wound?”

“It’s sore, but I’m pretty sure it’s healing well. It just feels like if I cut my hand making dinner and needed stitches right now, if I’m honest. The huge bandage-pad-sticky thing is a pain, but I know why it’s there so I guess I can’t complain.”

Natalie hummed, squeezing his hand.

“Thanks for feeling like you could talk to me last night. It means a lot.”

“Natalie, if I didn’t talk to you I probably wouldn’t be here, and neither would Will. Let’s be real; he’s loved you since he met you. My constant injuries- well, they were just a way for him to talk to you even more.”

“I guess I owe it all to you, hm?” She nudged his shoulder, a laugh escaping her lips. Jay shrugged, gesturing between the two.

“Let me name Owen’s first sibling and we’ll call it even.”

The pair laughed hard, before Jay winced and held his shoulder. Natalie stood up, giving Jay and Owen room to talk. It was adorable to watch the two interact, Natalie exchanging a look with Will before Will cleared his throat.

“From what I heard, you can come home in a couple days, give or take.”

“What Will’s trying to say is that if you want to stay with us or if you want Will to go home with you that’s fine and we can figure something out.”

Jay looked up from where he’d been playing with Owen, an eyebrow raised in surprise.

“You wouldn’t mind?”

“Course not. You’re family too, whatever you need.”

Nat gave Will a gentle nudge with her shoulder, gesturing to Jay.

“You two do whatever you need to do, but keep me in the loop okay?”

“Yeah, sure. Thanks Nat.”

Will kissed her temple while Jay whispered _thanks_ , going back to playing with Owen.

 

“Watch your step man, easy.”

“Will, I got shot in the shoulder not my legs. They’re working fine.”

Jay shoved Will from holding on to him, making his way into the kitchen. Will rolled his eyes, catching up with Jay right as he went to reach for a beer from the fridge.

“Sorry, can’t drink on these meds.”

Jay stared at him wide eyed, panic flowing through him.

If he couldn’t drink then he’d be having nightmares all night and he wouldn’t sleep anyway-

“Jay? Jay, dude, you okay? You just went really pale.”

Jay swallowed, trying to moisten his throat that had dried out suddenly. Will was watching him with concern, an arm extended ready to catch him if he needed to.

“Will, I- uh. There’s something- there’s something I have to tell you and… it’s not something I’m… proud of.”

Will raised an eyebrow, gesturing to the couch.

“Okay c’mon, we can talk over here.”

As they sat on the couch Will made an internal note that Jay was glancing around the room anxiously, frowning. He nudged Jay’s hand, sending him what he hoped came across as a playful smile instead of a sympathetic one. Jay sighed, staring at his hands.

“Things haven’t been the same since Afghanistan. Y’know, with everything that happened over there… I thought I’d moved on… but- when I close my eyes at night, and lay down to get some sleep, all I hear are gunshots. All I see are innocent people on the ground- not always shot by me, but these people were only living their lives. It’s not their fault they had to live in a place that’s as war-torn as Afghanistan. It got bad; to the point where I’d just lay awake for hours so I didn’t have to sleep. So I didn’t have to go back there again.”

Will was listening intently, waiting for where this was going, so Jay continued.

“When Erin left… I spiralled; man I’d wait until you were out of the room and then I’d go through a six-pack within five minutes. When I woke up the next morning sure I was a little out of it, but I hadn’t had a single nightmare-flashback thing. It was a small payoff for the sleep I got.”

Will had sat back against the couch but he wasn’t detaching himself from the situation- instead, he was ready to comfort his brother. Jay shrugged, letting out a humourless laugh.

“I found that the more I drank, the less I remembered in the morning.”

He was silent then, and Will took a moment to process everything Jay had told him before reaching across and pulling Jay into a gentle hug. Jay rested his head on Will’s shoulder, struggling to fight back tears.

“I just wanted it to stop man, I never wanted it to go this far.”

“I know Jay, I know. Its okay, I’m here now. We’re gonna beat this man; I know you can do this. You just need a little help.”

Jay nodded against his brother, relaxing as Will let him go.

“Try and have a nap, I’ll be around if you need me.”

As Will stood, Jay stretched out on his couch. As Will walked away, he turned back for a moment with a smile.

“You’re stronger than you think, Jay.”


End file.
